24 Fan Fiction

Posted: Sep 21, 2007 11:32 am

I didn't know where else to put this: I guess writing is a kind of art...?

I'm currently writing a 24 story entitled 24: DAY 3.5. As you can probably guess from the title, it takes place between Day 3 and Day 4, an area largely untouched by other media.

It tells the story of how Jack got his job with Secretary of Defence James Heller by saving his life during an assassination attempt. Working with DC CTU and Heller's own people, Jack uncovers a massive terrorist plot to take down President John Keeler's new government. Also included is the moment Jack first meets Audrey Raines. Other characters include Sonya del Marco, head of DC CTU and mentioned in 24: The Game, Kim Bauer and Chase Edmunds, who are helping Jack with his move to DC after the events of Day 3, and new enemies such as Middle Eastern terrorist Mohammed al'Asad Kadir, Japanese buisnessman Yoshi Tanaka Yamakagi and Karl, brother of the ill-fated arms dealer Max from Day 2 and 24: The Game.

Here's a little image I knocked together to promote it:

Would anybody be interested in reading some of it? I'm only part-way through the first chapter, it's very much a new project of mine, and I'm just about the start my third year of University, so progress will be slow... thoughts, anyone?

Posted: Sep 21, 2007 6:14 pm

This looks very interesting, nice work!

Posted: Sep 21, 2007 7:11 pm

Should I post some of it up?

Or do you think people around here might nick it?

No offence or anything, but I have only just joined...

...or, more to the point, would you like to read some?

Posted: Sep 21, 2007 7:40 pm

Id love to read it, if you dont wanna post it here, you can always PM or email it to us Wink

Posted: Sep 21, 2007 7:43 pm

No, I'm happy posting it up on the forum page itself, so long as nobody nicks it... which, to be honest, I don't think they will.

Okay, remind me tomorrow (going to bed soon) and I'll post up the opening sequence of DAY 3.5! Thanks for the interest, hope you'll enjoy it.

Posted: Sep 21, 2007 8:15 pm

Ok you can post it up here if you want. I'm sure none of the members here will steal it, but remember, this is a public forum, accessible by everyone on the internet, whether they are a member here or not, and this site is also indexed on Google.

But I'd love to read your fan fiction, it sounds interesting!

Posted: Sep 21, 2007 8:28 pm

Okay, bedtime's been and gone, so here's the first section of chapter one...

**************

Note: this story takes place between Day 3 and Day 4.

THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 10:00am AND 11:00am

EVENTS OCCUR IN REAL TIME

Washington, DC

The snow would make things easier, Jaques considered. With the entire sidewalk bathed in white, people stood out even more than usual amongst the concrete and steel of the street. He squinted his narrow eyes even further, finger tensed over the trigger, eyes on the door.
He needed all the help he could get on this one. The target would be in a small crowd, bustling from the hotel's entrance and directly into a waiting limousine. The crowd would be almost exclusively made up of Secret Service agents, automatically trained to react within a heartbeat to a threat. If Jaques screwed up the shot or gave his position away, one of the suited elite would dive in front of the bullet. That wouldn't be the biggest disaster, the French-born mercenary pondered as he lay in wait. Henri would get his man: that much was almost a certainty. Jaques' job was to simply provide confusion, to set up the perfect shot for his partner-in-crime.
The cold of late January was biting viciously through the skin of the saloon, piercing his clothing and attacking his skin. Jaques shifted slightly, as much as he could in the cramped space. It had taken an entire afternoon to prepare both his car and Henri's, which he could see through his sniper scope parked on the other side of the entrance. They'd been inspired by a spate of shootings they'd seen on the news and decided to use the tried and tested tactic in this hit. After all, it was always safer to let someone else try it first, was it not?
"Merdé, it's cold!" swore a voice over his two-way. It was Henri, poised just as Jaques was in his own special automobile. "I wish they would just get out here!"
All this waiting was for just a few seconds of panic and terror, Jaques thought. They had been laying flat along the length of their cars, sniper rifles poking out from tiny holes in their licence plates, for a good half hour. They had the time on good authority, so it was a wait both men had expected. Both had pissed at the right time, eaten at the right time and worn the right clothes. No amount of mission prep, however, could fight or protect against nature, and she was especially ruthless today. The snow had been so sudden and so thick that the hotel staff hadn't even begun to clear it away from their entrance yet. At least it had stopped falling, a relieved Jaques remembered back only a few minutes. A shot this precise could be ruined by a single flake.
Just for a few seconds of panic… a few seconds that would make Jaques and Henri very rich indeed.
"Heads up, my friend." growled Jaques, noticing activity and sensing his task was about to begin. "We have incoming."
Just as Henri got the message and noticed the limousine, it crawled to a stop right outside the hotel entrance and sat, idling, the exhaust cutting a hole in the snow like a knife through butter. Two Secret Service agents, one male and one female (although Jaques had trouble telling the difference), got out from the front two doors and made their way backwards along the length of the vehicle, opening the rear doors in expectation of their designated 'package'. As soon as the doors were open on the car, the hotel doorman appeared from inside and held open the brass frame, the white snow beneath his feet reflected in the glass panelling.
First emerged two more Secret Service men, these two preceding the 'package' with hands inside their jackets, resting on their handguns, as they surveyed the immediate area from behind aviator sunglasses. After a few seconds, they nodded to one another, not even noticing anything out of the ordinary when glancing at the two parked saloon cars. Jaques and Henri both sighed an internal sigh of relief.
Then came the target.
Jaques squeezed his trigger.
He missed.

Howling in pain, James Heller grabbed his bleeding leg and fell face-first into the soft snow beneath him. If he wasn’t so overwhelmed with the burning sensation creeping from the wound, he would have thanked the weather for providing a nice landing. The snow around his leg turned red as the sun was blotted out by the swarm of Secret Service suits and guns.
Jack Bauer, acting on instinct to protect the Secretary of Defence, fell with him. As he travelled down towards the cold floor, he was aware of the air beside his right ear being ripped apart by a high-powered sniper round. Hitting the ground, he immediately looked up towards the source of the shot, ignoring the painful ringing that the failed attempt on Heller's life left behind. He saw the saloon for a split-second before it was covered up by the legs of a Secret Service agent. Then that agent fell, bleeding from the neck, and Jack saw the tiny puff of smoke rise from where he had been looking: the licence plate of the saloon.
"They’re in the cars!" Jack screamed, the fallen agent having landed across his legs causing no serious injury to Jack. "Snipers! In the cars!"
At once, the remaining Secret Service agents turned towards the saloon to the right and opened fire with their 9mm semi-automatic TAG-17 handguns. Watching from his own vehicle, Jaques cursed for his fallen comrade, knowing the skin of the car that had let in the cold was also, contrary to Hollywood, far from bullet-proof, letting in the bullets to rip Henri apart. Jaques looked through his scope, tried readjusting his aim for the target he had screwed up, and found only Secret Service men and the hotel doorman. There was no point in taking out a simple grunt as Henri had done… look where it had gotten him, thought the Frenchman, as gunfire from the agents continued to puncture the second saloon. Dropping his rifle, he slid backwards out of the modified trunk and turned awkwardly to sit in the driver’s seat. The engine, mercifully, started first time.
Jack heard the engine start and immediately snapped his head left. His mind had already done the calculations: the second shot towards him had come from the right, and yet Heller had been shot first in the left leg. The second sniper was getting away.
Grabbing the gun from the fallen Secret Service agent strewn across his legs, Bauer pulled himself up off the back of James Heller, who was drifting in and out of consciousness due to a combination of pain and cold, and darted away from the hotel, giving chase. His suit, covered in snow and blood, was not designed for cold weather operations. Jack ignored it, thinking past the pain it caused in his legs, chest and fingers. Gripping the handgun, he took aim towards the car that sped away from the scene and fired three successive shots.
The outcome was not as Jack Bauer intended. The second and third shots hit the left rear tyre, shredding it to pieces which flew across the ground. In the slippery conditions, Jaques had no chance of wrestling control of the vehicle back from the laws of physics, and had no choice but to throw his arms over his face and scream. The saloon spun madly towards a low brick wall which enclosed a small floral display, striking it in such a way that made the car launch into the air and rotate horizontally through 180°. When it landed on the other side of the flowers, partially obscured from Jack's view, it erupted into a ball of flame.
By the time Jack had run around to the wreck, there was no way to discern the burned remains of the sniper from the twisted metal and charred leather seats.
"Son of a bitch…" whispered Jack, lowering his gun and running his free hand over his freezing face.
This was going to be one of those days.

10:12:28

*******************

Hope you like it...!

Posted: Sep 21, 2007 8:34 pm

Cool, I will read it right now!

**Topic Moved to Fan Fiction** (I just made a new section for fan fiction)

Posted: Sep 21, 2007 8:41 pm

Excellent, thanks!

Posted: Sep 21, 2007 9:50 pm

I like it, it is very good!

You should keep working on it, it is very nice!

Posted: Sep 22, 2007 5:37 am

I've got a few more bits down: the next part is where Jack and Heller, having recieved medical attention, arrive at DC CTU and start looking for terrorists, then there's a scene with the as-yet-unidentified mastermind behind the plot being all angry.

I'll post more when I've written the first chapter: don't wanna give away too much of the plot! Wink

Thanks for the feedback: much appreciated, DSi.

Posted: Dec 19, 2007 12:11 am

So... where's the rest of that story you were promising us? You know it's rude to be tease! Wink

Posted: Jan 21, 2008 2:35 pm

Yeah..cool. I really liked it

Posted: Jan 21, 2008 5:24 pm

Still waiting... lol Wink

Posted: Jan 21, 2008 7:01 pm

I think he's still away, he said he was going to be back in January... (http://24forum.net/about375.html)

Posted: Jan 22, 2008 6:32 am

Does anyone know where the rest of the story is?

Posted: Jan 24, 2008 10:03 pm

Hasn't been posted yet. We have to bug him about it when he gets back.

Back in Jan eh? Well... he had better hurry up, it's almost the end of Jan.

Posted: Mar 08, 2008 4:02 pm

i wouldent add chase if i were you, i mean, he has one hand, unless they were able to put it back on.....

Posted: Mar 08, 2008 8:13 pm

They did reattach it in surgery, did they not?

Posted: Mar 08, 2008 11:38 pm

I think they did.

And where is PreviouslyOn24?? He said he was going to be back in January, it's alreay March...

Posted: Mar 09, 2008 2:52 pm

I KNOW!! whycantkimdie? said hes going to Newcastle this weekend, and hes gonna find him! lol